When You Wake Up Saying WTF ???

Ok I had to blog about this maybe someone can help me explain this your input is greatly appreciated..I usually don't remember any of my dreams & if I do its very little like bits and pieces here and there but last night I had a dream and I remember it so vividly... The dream was about President Bush..A few days ago I heard the song Dear Mr. President by Pink(its a good song i'll post the lyrics at the end of this post)..But anyways in the dream I went and applied for a job somewhere and instead of filling out the application I ended up writing a letter to the President and some how he ended up getting it and he came to my apt with some secret service and some people from the media and they said we could sit down and talk..I had to sign some papers and I noticed that it didn't say I couldn't record our conversation and I got a tape recorder and taped it because I knew even though the media was there they would cut things out. So we are sitting there talking about the war and differnt things and I ask him what would you do if your daughter married a man who was to be sent to fight in Iraq and all he would say is I don't know I would take care of it and deal with it and then I woke up..So I am wondering when he said he would take care of it would he keep her from marrying him or would he find some way to get him out of being shipped out to Iraq ? I don't know why I remember this dream so well..So this is what has me think WTF is this suppose to mean ???? Anyone want to guess..As promised below are the lyric to Dear Mr President by Pink let me know what you think of the song

Dear Mr. President
By Pink


Dear Mr. President
Come take a walk with me
Let's pretend we're just two people
and You're not better than me
I'd like to ask you some questions if we can speak honestly

What do you feel when you see all the homeless on the street
Who do you pray for at night before you go to sleep
What do you feel when you look in the mirror
Are you proud

How do you sleep while the rest of us cry
How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye
How do you walk with your head held high
Can you even look me in the eye
And tell me why

Dear Mr. President
Were you a lonely boy
Are you a lonely boy
Are you a lonely boy
How can you sayNo child is left behind
We're not dumb and we're not blind
They're all sitting in your cells
While you pave the road to hell

What kind of father would take his own daughter's rights away
And what kind of father might hate his own daughter if she were gay
I can only imagine what the first lady has to say
You've come a long way from whiskey and cocaine

How do you sleep while the rest of us cry
How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye
How do you walk with your head held high
Can you even look me in the eye

Let me tell you bout hard work
Minimum wage with a baby on the way
Let me tell you bout hard work
Rebuilding your house after the bombs took them away
Let me tell you bout hard work
Building a bed out of a cardboard box
Let me tell you bout hard work
Hard work
Hard work
You don't know nothing bout hard work
Hard work
Hard work
Oh

How do you sleep at night
How do you walk with your head held high
Dear Mr. President
You'd never take a walk with me
Would You?

Monday,Monday

Happy Memorial Day To One & All Be Safe

Quotes & A Blessing

Last year I won this 2007 quote calender and book from Redbook magazine(I love that magazine lol)..Well each month has a quote or some words of wisdom attached and its a little late but I figured I would share the wisdom from the past few months and when each month starts I will share the quote for that month..

• Jan -Today Is The First Day Of The Rest Of Your Life-American Proverb
• Feb-Wheresoever You Go, Go With All Your Heart-Confucius
• March-You Are Pure Potential-Martin De Maat
• April-A Misty Morning Does Not Signify A Cloudy Day-Ancient Proverb
• May-May You Always Have Enough Happiness To Keep You Sweet, Enough Trials To Keep You Strong, Enough Success To Keep You Eager, Enough Faith To Give You Courage, And Enough Determination To Make Each Day A Good Day- Blessing

Well that is all for now I feel like crap today my chest and my stomach are playing I wanna hurt more right now for some reason so I am going to go crawl back into bed for a little while and I will post more later...

What are you hooked on ?

Yes I know its been a while in between posts lol if anyone wants to be my personal ass kicker to get me to blog please send resumes to my email..I REALLY need to keep up on this before my head explodes lol...So on with my post I was channel surfing the other day which I do a lot because there isn't rarely anything on TV well daytime TV..I usually have the TV on for back noise but I have it muted lol yea I know makes no sense lol...I hate reality TV shows with a passion lol yea I know shame on me because it seems America loves them There are a few shows I am completely hooked on in case you want to see then I will list the channel they are on....

• Dirty Jobs-Discovery Channel
• Mythbusters-Discovery Channel
• Hazard Pay-Discovery Channel
• How Its Made-Discovery Channel
• Made In America-Travel Channel
• Whose Line Is It Anyways-Fox Family
• Good Eats-Food Network
• Ace Of Cakes-Food Network

That is pretty much my viewing schedule for the week sad isn't it yea I know lol... There is also some UFC and some sports thrown in there too I am a sports junkie not all but some so that is what I watch on Tv I need some new things to watch if anyone has any ideas let me know I would love to check them out...

Yes...I am a bad blogger lol

If anyone out there is still reading this I know shame on me for being away from blogging for so long..The funny thing is I will sit here and say to myself that man I really need to blog something and for some off reason the day goes on and I never do but alast for anyone still hanging around I am back lol...Soooo let's play update here boys and girls, ladies and gentlemen.. Well I went to the Dr on the 7th and I guess now all of a sudden I can call on Fri and get an appt for next Fri yea I find this our after the damn fact uggg I wanted to reach through the phone and slap the chick on the other end but I didn't so anyways I talked to the Dr about my sinus issue of all the crap I have talked about here I don't think I have ever brought that up...


Well for over a year now I have felt like I always have a continues sinus headache it all started after we moved our bedroom around lol no idea what that has to do with it and for those of you who are wondering why I wanted a yr to see her about it well I figured it would end as fast as it started but I was wrong...I kept getting sinus infection and nothing seemed to help except me sniffing Afrin nasal spray which as it says on the bottle use once every 12 hrs lol yea lets just say I used it alot more freqrently then your suppose to lol I tried ZiCam and it didn't work so anyways come to find out I have year round allergies which sucks big time so I have to take Claratin and some Flonase that smells god aweful lol..I also talked to her about the numbness in my hand and she think I am pinching a nerve in my hand its not that bad so no worries...I think that is all for now I decided to add a few lists on my blog page about books I am reading, wanthing to read and what I am reading if you have read any let me know what you think of them..Well that is all for now I maybe back later with more....

I LOVE my Dr. But HATE the OFFICE & Misc Catch -Up

My Dr's office has this new policy well its not new it has been in affect for awhile but I hate it..To make an appt you have to call that week, a week ahead or the same day. Now this pisses me off I like to make my appts earlier in advance so I know I have an appt. I called last Mon(23rd) to make an appt for Fri(27th) now the office opens at 8 and I called about 8:45 but the receptionist said she was all booked for Fri ok now someone tell me how is it in 45 min this women is all booked for Fri..So I am going to get up tomorrow and call there at 8 and if they say she is booked up again I am going to go ballistic..Also while we are on this topic someone explain to me. They said you can make an appt a week in advance how is it when I call on a Fri to make an appt for the following Fri they tell me to call back on Mon but when I call on Mon I can make an appt for next Mon. Good grief people its the same number of days come on now...So we will see what happens when I call there tomorrow if you see on the national news about a women getting arrested for going off on a receptionist at a Dr's office you know its me lol... Also to update you on other events....

The skin is finally growing back on my shin/leg area its half covered and getting smaller so hopefully by the end of next month I can stop buying all this gauze, toppers, non-stick pads and kling rolls I swear in the past 3 months I been keeping Johnson & Johnson in business having to buy all this stuff..Also an update on my uncle they took out his breathing tube a week ago I do believe and then they put it back in and as of Fri the took it out and decided to out in a treack (you know when they put the tube in your neck)..He has also had 2 more blood transfusions and is still on Dialysis..He has 2 cultures done a 24 hr one and 3 day one the 24 one came back ok but I guess the 3 day one came back with something on it...I can't remember if I posted this on the last update if so sorry for repeating. When they did the scope they said the front and back of his pancreas is dead but the middle is still ok I have no freaking idea what that means...They are suppose to be doing a biopsy on his pancreas...He astill has an infection and they have no idea where it is coming from and he is on a ton of antibiotics and they don't seem to be working so that is all I know for now I will post more when I know more enjoy your sunday....

Fathers Part 2

Let me move on from my dad for a minute and talk about my mom.....My mom has been my mom and my dad she has always been there for me when I needed her and even when I didn't think I did....I know there were times she wanted to beat me senseless but she didn't....I knew there were times she wanted to say I told you so but she didn't even after all the dumb things I have done in my life she has always been there to have my back.....A few years ago while she was at work she had a heart attack a friend of hers came into my job and told my boss and he came and got me and all she said was your mom is in the hospital then she told me they think she had a heart attack as I’m walking out to the car I swear I felt like someone hit me and knock the wind outta me my first thought was "I cant lose her" at that time we were living in Vegas...If I had lost her I don't know what I would have done....I spent many a nights crying in bed wondering if she was going to be ok and thank goodness she was I realized something at that time no matter how old you are you always need your momma for something......So back to my dad I remember the day it hit me that I lost my dad for sure and at that time I really didn't care ......It was a hot July afternoon in Massachusetts......


The ceremony begins its my turn they call my name I go up on stage I look out and see my mom, sister, nephew, uncle, aunt and cousin but no where do I see my father and as I'm walking off down the stairs Im thinking well maybe he is up in the balcony so after this we are all outside I call my dad to see where he is and I call the cell phone and I'm like where are you he is like home I'm like have you been there are day he was like yes why and I hand up the phone and I'm thinking to myself on what should be one of the happiest days of my life.....He missed my fucking High School Graduation that was the day I finally went from feeling like the baby girl he always wanted to the person he didn't give a damn about......So I went out that night and partied like it didn't matter and when I got home as usual I went to bed and cried for a man I loved but for some reason I thought couldn't love me back.....A few years later while talking to a friend I realized something the first man to tell me he loved me, to lie to me, to break my heart and to abandon me were in fact all the same person My Father.....How about that for irony......Well he called me back the next day and asked why I hung up on him and I said you really haven't figured it out huh and of course he was like no and I'm like you missed my damn graduation and of cause he had no excuse no reason no nothing and if he had of I didn't really want to hear it any way’s.......


I left Mass and moved to Vegas in March of 2000 and my mom in August of 2000 I didn't tell my dad I was moving I figured why should I...so it surprise me when my mom called and said your dad sent u a card and some money yea damn near pissed my pants on that one.....So eventually I told him I left Mass and he was like well I wish you had come say good bye and I'm like why what difference would it have made NONE !!!!!!......While in Vegas I met Mike my boyfriend online and we have been together 4 yrs I came out here to visit last March 2004 and haven’t left since LOL......Well I do believe that Mike is the man I am going to marry and may have kids with so I decide to write my dad a letter since its been so long and I figured I'm older now and we are both adults maybe we can move past the past and let it go yea things could have been done different but its the past lets let it lay well that's what I wanted to do but I guess he didn't.....He was wondering why I hadn't sent him a Father's Day card or anything.......He never said a word about the fact that I was in love ad happy he ever said I'm happy for you or anything the last time I heard from him he called to wish me a Happy New Year......I knew it was him but I didn't want to answer plus he was drunk so it wouldn't have been a good conversation....Maybe one day soon I'll write him again who knows maybe I'm just a glutton for punishment but I think I'll take a break from him. There is more on this topic but we will revisit it later on to different topics

Fathers..Where Do I Even Start

I don't know if anyone is reading this or if my comments aren't working so if you stop by leave a comment even if its just a hello thanks..But on with the post shall we...

Before I even go into detail about me and my fathers relationship I want to share with you an email he sent me this week "Hi there Well,it has been quite a while since i have heard from you.I hope that everything is alright.I realize that you have a life of your own.But a few lines to let me know that you are doing alright,i don't think is asking to much. So if you can find the time to drop a line or two, I would feel a lot better.But if for some reason you wish not to, then I guess there isn't much I can do about that. I love you and hope to hear from you soon love Dad"

Ok the last time I emailed my father was before New Years and of course I didn't get a response and he has my home address to but last week he send me a card out of the blue he does this crap all the time I email him and he doesn't respond and a few months later he pops up and emails me like I am such a bad person for not constantly emailing him well why email when I never get a response back..So that brings us to current day relationship with my dad he still lives back in Mass...

I am going to explain our relationship this is going to be a long post so I may have to divide this up for you guys I wrote this before so I am going to just copy it here enjoy I lost my dad so long ago I cant even remember ....Just to fill everyone in my dad isn't dead I know where he is and he knows where I am and yet we have nothing all we have in common is or last name and the fact that people say I look like him something I have to face every morning when I look in the mirror so no matter what he is always here.....Now let me start off by saying I do love my dad we had some good times and its partially because of him that I am here on this earth but I also hate him for some of the things he has done to me and no this isn't going to be any of that woe is me pity party bullshit.....This is going to be a long whirlwind story so get comfy I’m going to be jumping around so try and keep up....My mom and dad dated and broke up and he met someone and had a kid and the decided to give him up for adoption, my mom met and married my brother and sisters dad and they eventually divorced.....My dad had to boys with another lady and then him and my mom found one another again.....He kept talking about wanting a baby girl cause all he ever had was boys....So lone behold on August 4th 1979 I graced the world with my presence LOL.......I guess from what I know for other when I was a baby things were great and peachy as I got older things changed......My mom found out my dad was cheating and told him he needed to choose and he chose the women who could give him material things like money and cars over a women who loved him and a child who loved him more then he would ever know........But my mom made it clear that she would never keep him from seeing me no she didn't have to his new girlfriend would eventually take care of that....When I first met her I didn't like her cause she tried to be my mom and she wasn't so that killed any chance we had of being friends right there.......As time went on and I got older we saw each other less I would go by their place and see him just to sit there and stare at him while he rolled a joint or did whatever like I wasn't there he occasionally talked to me but hell I kept going cause I wanted my father back......So as time went by here came the numerous broken promises and the days of sitting in my front porch in the middle of winter in Massachusetts while its snowing waiting for him to come get me and he never shows no call no excuse no nothing.....All the lies and the hurt I always kept it to myself I never let on I never cried I just held it all in I knew eventually I would blow just didn't know when.......Whenever he would come over his girlfriend would make him bring her grandson she was afraid him and my mom would get together.......

So fast forward a lil to a night full of surprises my dad comes over alone (wonder how he managed that) so he comes over and takes my mom in the bathroom then he comes out kisses me tells me he loves me then leaves....So here comes my mom to tell me "your father is getting married" he didn't even have enough fucking balls to tell me himself WTF !!!!!!......So of course I acted like it didn't matter so he calls a few days later and asks me if I want to come and if I do he will pick me up well I say yes and of course guess what no one ever shows......So I go in the house and my mom was like are you ok and I was like yea no big deal but of course it was I should have known he was lying but I was hoping maybe for once he maybe gave a damn....Well later that night as I lay in bed with my radio one that was the first night I cried over my father.......The angry I had towards him just got worse from there but I still wanted my father back.....Well things on his home front weren't so good my dad has always been a heavy drinker but it escalated a lot after he got married.....I'm sure when he passes it will have something to do with drinking......I drink sometimes but I know my limit I don't do it to escape or anything I know I'm not a drunk I can go months without it and be fine....My dad cant do that he told me he stop but the last time I heard from him he sounded drunk.......But my anger boiled over and it blew one night he came to see me and I just wanted him to leave me alone and he wouldn't go away so I stood there and screamed at the top of my lungs crying my eyes out in front of him and my mom for him to leave me alone I never screamed that loud in my life LOL........I had so much hatred and angry for him it hurt so my mom made him leave and we talked and of course she asked what was wrong and I lied and said a lil of things like school and dad at the time finals where going on in school....So I lied cause I didn't want her worrying about me....

Well that is enough for tonight I will post more tomorrow night...Have a good night

My VIsual DNA

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Truth or Lies....Why Lie ???

I am sure everyone has heard the old saying Never Assume because when you assume you make a ass out of you and me...Well I must say I honestly wished I had listened to that one for sure...I am not going to go into full detail here I just need to vent and get this off my chest and get over it....Recently I had a conversation with a friend(well someone I thought was a friend) but nonetheless we had a long conversation about life and different topics in general and for some reason at some point in this conversation I felt myself being happy that I have met this person and that we are friends well I assumed we were becoming friends I guess you could say...But I assumed I could believe the things this person was telling me because why would they have a reason to lie ??? Well for whatever their reason was maybe they were talking just to hear themselves talk but so I assumed and now well i've made an ass out of myself for assuming this person was worth the time & effort...Maybe this just one instance where there is a reason for lying I don't know but I have to say it hurts that they felt a need to lie and they didn't have to...Maybe I need to go through life not trusting people and see where that gets me heck if I even know right now for some reason this is really bothering me and I honestly just wish it would go away....I don't want to look at everyone who tells me something and think hmmm I wonder if he or she is telling the truth...If anyone has any ideas for me I would greatly appreciate it any help would be nice....

Uncle Update 1

If you haven't already read the previous post called "Playing The Waiting Game" you may want to read it so you are up to speed and aren't totally lost around here I am lost enough lol.....

Well I talked to my mom and the results of the scan show some of his pancreas is dead...The surgeon doesn't really want to have to do surgery because its a bad surgery he says...But he also says the pancreas is an organ so even with some of it dead it can still work...They had to give permission to put the shunt back in for dialysis since its in his groin they can't leave it in there permanently..It was on the left side and now its on the right..Everyone was wondering why he was back on dialysis cause a nurse said his kidneys were working again well come to find out from the Dr. no they aren't I honestly wish everyone would get on the same damn page here and make up their minds or make sure they know what they are talking about before they tell people stuff...

So the next question we are all waiting for an answer to is why if he is on Dialysis is he getting blood transfusions where is the blood going ??? He still has a high temperature but its coming down and he is still doped up on meds but he can hear what you are saying and can move his head a little for a yes or no when you ask him something....I know he is going to be in the hospital for awhile but I really wish things would start looking up it already sucks that he will have to spend his birthday in the hospital next month...I will update more as I get information thanks to everyone for their kind words,thoughts & prayers....

Playing The Waiting Game

I should have blogged about this when it first started but I honestly thought it wasn't going to be anything serious but I was wrong so after keeping all this in for the past 3 weeks I need to let it out, vent, cry whatever....I guess I am still processing it all for the most part to be honest...

Three weeks ago my mom called me and told me my Uncle was in the hospital he was complaining of back pain and a really bad stomach ache now this man has a high pain tolerance so for him to want to go to the ER he has to be in some bad pain...So after he was admitted my aunt and my mom were sitting in the waiting room when the Dr came out and told them they think his pancreas was inflamed & that he was a very sick man...So as the days and weeks progress he has a feeding tube and a breathing tube inserted & he is doped up on sedative and morphine...So his kidneys start to fail and they start him on dialysis

Well one day he tried to pull out his tubes and they have to use restraints on his arms to keep him from doing that..They were going to remove the breathing tube but for some reason decided against it well come to find out today he has an infection in his blood and had to have a blood transfusion...They did a cat scan on his pancreas and they couldn't see so they were going to use a cam to see what was going on to see if some of his pancreas is dead or not function and then take it from there...So that has been the last 3 weeks in a nutshell & of course I am about 3000 miles away so I can't be there to go see him..Its not like I could do much if I was there but I would like to see him..So I am going to end this post for now before I start balling my eyes out

Things About Life I Learned From A Jigsaw Puzzle

This was sent to me so I figured I would pass it along

1. Don't force a fit. If something is meant to be, it will come together naturally

2. When things aren't going so well, take a break. Everything will look different when you return.

3. Be sure to look at the big picture. Getting hung up on the little pieces only leads to frustration.

4. Perseverance pays off. Every important puzzle went together bit by bit, piece by piece.

5. When one spot stops working, move to another. But be sure to come back later (see #4).

6. The creator of the puzzle gave you the picture as a guidebook.

7. Variety is the spice of life. It's the different colors and patterns that make the puzzle interesting.

8. Working together with friends and family makes any task fun.

9. Establish the border first. Boundaries give a sense of security and order.

10. Don't be afraid to try different combinations. Some matches are surprising.

11. Take time often to celebrate your successes (even little ones).

12. Anything worth doing takes time and effort. A great puzzle can't be rushed.

About MeMe...

A - Available or Single? -Neither have a boyfriend
B - Best Friends? Helga,Iris,Barb & Jody
C - Cake or Pie?-Neither brownies or ice cream
D - Drink of Choice? Non-Alcohol-Crystal Light,Alcohol-Jack Daniels & OJ
E - Essential Item? My Cell phone
F - Favorite Color? Black-White-Gray
G - Gummi Bears or Worms? Bears been years since i've had any lol
H - Hometown? Springfield Massachusetts
I - Indulgence?-Starbucks
J - January or February? Jan start of a new year
K - Kids and Names?-none
L - Life is incomplete without? Love,Friends,Laughter
M - Marriage Date?-Not married yet
N - Number of Siblings? 2 - Brother 35 & Sister 29
O - Oranges or Apples? Apples
P - Phobias/Fears? -Life w/o Mk-Never succeeding at my goals
Q - Favorite Quote? -“Don't settle for the one you can live with Fight for the one you cant live without"
R - Reasons to smile? Love,Family,Friends
S - Season? Summer
T - Tag 3 People? Fievel lol I think everyone else I know has done this but if you haven't and you do let me know (but no obligation guys)
U - Unknown Fact About Me? I can sing my states in alphabetical order
V - Vegetable You Hate? Beans
W - Worst Habit? Nail biting
X - X-rays You've Had? Chest,Leg,Ankle,Teeth,Back,Hand
Y - Your Favorite Foods? Salad, Chinese
Z - Zodiac? Leo

Ahhhhh Its Spring Sopposedly...

Well the first day of Spring was last Wed & man since there we have had some crappy weather lol so much for sunshine and warmth no all we got was rain and ughhh lol...But I will admit rain is better then snow its about 55 here today not to bad the sun it out I have to admit I am not loving daylight savings time...Well its been I think about a week since I last blogged I been trying to find things to keep me busy so I am not parked here in front of this computer so much..I got some knitting needles and some yarn and its still sitting there just staring at me lol. I will eventually get around to teaching myself before I am to old.I went and saw my new Dr last monday(the 19th)..I will say this I LOVE my new Dr she is just as nice and friendly as the last one I had. I got my results back from my Diabeties & Cholestrol test...My cholestrol is kick ass perfect lol I never know you could have good cholestrol and high blood pressure I figure if was bad so wasn't the other...As for my diabeties test she says she really can't say if I am or i'm not since one of the meds I am on for my PCOS is also a med used for people with diabeties and for her to find out she would have to take me off the meds for a month and then test me but she thinks without the pills the shot wouldn't be as strong to keep the bleeding away so for now I will hold off on that..

We also talked about weight loss she isn't a skinny minny but she isnt a elephant either she is a good size and we talked about how she is also losing weight and how she lost 60 pounds in the last year...Its nice having someone who knows it's not easy and all but we talked about that and my leg god I wish this thing would hurry up and heal and go away I am thinking about buying stock in Johnson & Johnson gauze and other products cause man it seems like 2 times a week I am out buying more but the Dr says she sees a little bit of pink and some skin coming in I can start using Neosporin on it when I change the bandages hopefully that will speed up the healing process some...Well my eating hasn't been the best we will just leave it at that but I know I need to get back on th saddle I keep telling myself your only a failure if you don't keep trying so try,try and try again...Well that is all for now MK is off today so we are gonna spend some time together....

Ch Ch Ch Changes.....

Saint Patricks Day Comments

Happy Saint Patrick's Day


I have alot of stuff going on in my head now and its driving me crazy so I need to get it out and off my chest now some things won't make any sense so just go along with me here & act like you have a clue what I am talking about....I want to change the name of my blog to what I really don't know but I want to ask all you smart people who know blogger inside and out is there anyway I can just change the title of my blog and keep everything the way it is if so please leave me a comment and let me know...I also want to change my template but the ones blogger has aren't that spectacular I need something springy lol...So if you know how I can change my template to one besides the ones blogger has let me know that also plz....

Okay now on to the things I need to get off my chest I am getting so tired of shit lately and before I go off I need to get it out in the open...I am tired of people who say one thing and do another...I am tired of giving people the benefit of the doubt & end up having it blow up in my face....I am tired of the blatant lack of respect that some people have for people and their feelings...I am tired of people who tell lies like its nothing..I am tired of people who act like their problems are the only ones in the world and no one elses matters..People who have had every chance to get themselves out of a bad situation only to turn down any help and still go on to play the victim...The bad thing is I know someone in everyone of the things I just named and I love my friends and there is nothing I wouldn't do for them but I am getting tired of the same BS over & over.....Ok so I got that off my chest so I feel a lil better...I didn't do much today I watched alot of Ultimate Fighting my eating was good today..The weather was ok it rained but i'll take rain over snow any day...My mom is back East and they got hit with some snow...I think my nasal issue has finally decided to leave me alone thank goodness...Well I hope everyone had a good day and have a great weekend I am off to have some yogurt and relax there is more Ultimate Fighting to be watched.

Weight Issues

My biggest problem with my eating is knowing when I am full...Everyone says well just stop eating when your full well that would be alot easier if my stomach would tell me its full...The only way I know I am full is when i've eaten too much and my stomach hurts..I don't know if anyone else has or has had this problem but if so I would love to know what you did or if something helped you...I know one thing for sure I need to drink more during my meals I usually end up drinking before or after not very much during....This weeks eating habits have sucked not really badly but bad enough this sinus infection isn't helping matters much.

I have tried Benadryl sinus that didn't help, I tried Zicam that didn't help and now I am trying Tylenol Sinus so I hope that helps I have a Dr. Appt monday so if not I will talk to her about it.
I had been sleepless the last 2 nights my nose seems to think its a good idea for both nostril to plug up at one time and I can't sleep while breathing through my mouth. I even tried those breathe right strips and those things are irritating the part that goes over the bridge of your nose that has the band in it that thing is seriously uncomfortable.

I can't wait until spring starts I want to buy some plants liven the place up some get rid of the winter blah...Well that is all for now off to try and get some sleep

Monday, Monday

Ahh where did the weekend go ? Oh I know I slept it away in a Benadryl Sinus induced sleep and I still feel like crap...It rained this weekend so wasn't much going on anyways...Well Friday I called to make a follow up appt with my Dr about my leg & I was informed that my Dr. was no longer there..WTF ??? I guess she has been gone for a couple of weeks now what pisses me off is when I called to ask her about some pain meds the receptionist told me she would have her nurse call me back and of course she never did I guess she was already gone. I really liked my old Dr. If I was able to use my insurance somewhere else besides that clinic I would go find her.

I had a nice list of my weight-loss questions on a piece of paper on my computer table and now its gone lol...I don't know if I have paper gnomes or what running around here but it's gone into thin air....Saturday(March 10th) was me & Mk's four year anniversary I can't believe its honestly been 4 years already it doesn't seem like that long. Even though I wasn't feeling up to par we had a nice day together cause he had to work Sat night...I had a few epiphanies about my issues with my weight which I will get into in the next post..I am off to relax and read....

So Damn Close....

I jinxed myself last week I was thinking hmmm well winter is almost over and I've done pretty good this year I usually end up with a few cases of Strep or Bronchitis but nope I have been good well screw me for thinking that I woke up yesterday morning with a stuff nose and a headache from hell..I have that one nostril stuffy thing going on I don't know if its a cold or a sinus infection but whatever it is I want it gone just as fast as it reared its ugly lil head..As hard as I have tried I can't breathe through my mouth when I sleep if I have to I end up not sleeping its irritating to say the least so not much has changed in the sleep department lately...I haven't been really hungry lately how can I be when I can't taste what I am eating or smell it(odd habit I always smell my food before I eat it I don't stick the plate up under my nose or anything like that )..I have been doing good about eating breakfast in the morning its usually shredded wheat, some yogurt or a muffin with some water or tea.

I am doing good on the no sweets thing so far and still no soda...I have been reading weight-loss magazines left and right just seeing what is out there and what people are doing and saying I have a slew of questions I will post in my next post tomorrow maybe all you lovely women who have had luck can answer some of these questions...I still haven't finished You On A Diet yet I need to strap myself down and finish this book everytime I get into it something seems to come along and take my attention away from itI am about half way though it now and so far I am really enjoying it...Man my nose is running like a leaky faucet with no off knob..my leg is healing nicely the hole is now just about closed up and back to being flush with the rest of my leg now all I have to do is wait for the skin to start healing and we are on our way..Well I hope everyone is doing good and had a good weekend....

Click to Make A Difference

I found this on AE's blog and figured I would share it and pass it along

Seventh Generation is helping Women's sheltersWomen's shelters in the U.S. go through thousands of tampons and pads monthly. Assistance agencies generally help with expenses of "everyday" necessities such as toilet paper, diapers, and clothing, but one of the most BASIC needs is overlooked - feminine hygene products.(That tells me men are at the helm of the funding assistance agencies!)Seventh Generation, a green paper products and cleaning products company, has a do-good attitude and will donate a box of sanitary products to a women's shelter in your chosen state - just for clicking the link. Talk about easy (and, yes, it is legitimate)!http://www.tampontification.com/donate.php