My Thoughts

I was laying in bed last night not being able to sleep as usual thinking about my health,my eating habits & other body thoughts you know the usual nighttime thoughts lol...A few things dawned on me

• I need to start eating breakfast and I know this is common knowledge but hey I never said I was a fast learner lol...When I don't eat breakfast I am starving by lunch and end up eating more then I would had I eaten breakfast

• I need to stop eating dinner so late and then going straight to bed(yes I know you should wait at least 2 hours before you go to bed) but sometimes 2 hours is too long when your dead tired and just want to lay down

• I wonder if eating so late is why I can't sleep at night and I also wonder if that's why when I get up in the morning I feel all ugh like I have a cement block in my stomach

• I need to make an appointment with a nutritionist

• I need to go to Lens Crafter's and get my eyes checked I know I am due for some new glasses

Today has been a day full of irritation if there is one thing I HATE its when people are suppose to show up and they don't last Monday I received a 2 day notice informing me that maintenance would be coming into my apartment between Wed the 21st-Wed the 28th to make repairs from the inspection last month(now mind you all I needed fixed was the pulley chain on my fan to turn it off and on) ok so anyway's they have a week to come in here and fix it well guess when he came to fix it HE DIDN'T it would have been nice had someone put a note on my door saying sorry he won't be able to get to it today or something...I am pissed because there are things I would have rather have been doing besides sitting all since last Wed waiting for him I don't like having people in my apartment when I am not here unless I know them...Let's see what else I got a wrong number call 6 times today every time I would say hello they would say oh sorry I think I have the wrong number how do you call the SAME wrong number 6 times ?

But on to good things today is 6 months since I had a glass of soda and tomorrow I cut out junk food the bad sugar I don't need sugar-free stuff here I come lol....I found a new love besides Crystal Light..I tried new Lipton Tea Pyramid Tea Bags me being a tea fanatic I had to try them so I went & got the White Tea with Island Mango & Peach Flavors now considering I don't like peach I would say this is damn good lol..So I guess that is all for the night folks hope everyone is having a goodnight....

I Rise

Ever since I read this poem in school I have loved it..I figured I would share it with you all

Still I RiseYou may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?'
Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard'
Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shameI rise
Up from a past that's rooted in painI rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

Leaving behind nights of terror and fearI rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clearI rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

Maya Angelou

You Have Got To Be Kidding Me

I was reading the Sunday paper online and came across this story..By the time I was done reading I was appalled at these peoples actions and how some of then think what they did was ok. I am including the link back to the story read it and let me know what you think.
(http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2003588154_sisters25.html). This is what is wrong with this world today seriously is their ever going to come a time where people are accepted as is ? I have to commed the people who took a stand and decided to leave I also feel sorry for the ones who were made to feel as if they weren't good enough to be part of something that is suppose to be like a second family while you are at college. Its disgusting that these people felt like they had the right to tell these women sorry your not pretty enough or your not skinny enough or the right color to be in our club sorry. Things like this make me wonder if we are living in 2007 and things are this way are things ever going to change or are they only going to get worse ? Feel free to comment I would love to hear what you have to say about this article....

What Is Yummy For 100 Calories or Less

I was reading this article about things that are 100 calories and under they listed 10 things so I figured I would pass on what I learned in the article

1.Hershey Kisses-Just 100 calories for 3 pieces

2.Half cup of strawberries & four tablespoons of lite whipped topping for only 90 calories

3.Half an english muffin & a teaspoon of peanut butter for 95 calories

4.Graham Crackers-2 sheets for 100 calories

5.Jello Fat-Free Pudding Snacks- 1 pudding cup is 100 calories

6.Frozen Yogurt-3 ounces is 100 calories

7.Cherries-1 cup is 95 calories

8.Egg-1 medium hard boiled egg is 81 calories

9.Almonds-10 raw almonds roughly equals 100 calories.

10.Popcorn-3 cups of air-popped popcorn for just 93 calories

I honestly don't know if I could only eat 3 hershey kisses thou lol....I wonder how many calories a cup full of lite whipped topping minus the strawberries would be (yea I know I'm bad). I am not a fan of english muffins or peanut butter..But I do love graham crackers and Jello fat-free pudding..I have never tried frozen yogurt if anyone has let me know how it tastes..I love fruit but cherries is not one of them anything cherry I hate the taste of..I like eggs in a nice egg salad sandwhich but alone it isn't my cup of tea..I like almonds by themselves but mixed in with anything or covered in anything I don't like...People think I am weird because I don't really like popcorn a whole like to be honest I can do without it all together..

Hobby Junky

I have so many hobbies well things I like to do or think I will like to do so I go out and get things to start these hobbies and then I lose interest lol..I have a closet full of beads and other jewelry making things...I also have a thing that melts the wax so you can make candles and I have tons of wax and all these scents lol..I also have books on knitting and crocheting and some yarn. I have tons of ideas for all this stuff but for some reason I just can't get them to come together and its driving me crazy so here it all sits in my closet staring at me every time I open the door. I thought about bagging and selling the beads but I know after I do that some great idea will hit me lol...I really want to teach myself how to knit so I know I need to buckle down and get it started maybe in a few years I will have made something that someone can recognize what it is lol. So I was wondering does anyone else have this problem you start something and then you never seem to finish it ??

Road To Recovery

Ok well Friday's Dr. Appt was a good one...The culture from the ER came back as just a regular bacteria so that is good...No more shoving gauze in the hole I wanted to kiss her when she said that but I think that would have been very unprofessional LOL...The whole has gotten considerably smaller since my visit to the ER its nice and pink which I guess is a good think its bad if it turns red...As long as it keep healing I am ok if it takes a turn for the worse she says I will have to go to wound care so lets hope I keep healing...

So I have to keeping cleanng it and putting the gauze on the cover it and wrap gauze around to hold it she also gave me more antibiotics not as strong as the other ones but I have to take them 4x a day..Yippeee more pills(sacasm)..She had me tested for Diabeties and my Cholestrol since its been over a yr but she doesn't think I am Diabetic because one of the pills I am on for my PCOS is also used for Diabeties

She also said even after this heals I am going to have to be careful that I don't hit that part of my leg on anything since it won't be as strong as my reg skin I am thinking great I need to buy a shin guard lol...My leg still hurts like hell thou lol so hopefully the pain will lessen as the wound heals..I have to go back and see her in a few weeks so she can see about my leg..Maybe I should buy a shin guard just to be on the safe side lol...I hope everyone had a good weekend it seems evreyone here decided to run to the car wash on Friday only to turn around and have it rain Sunday

Happy Valentines Day

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If Your Falling Apart & You Know It Raise Your Hand (I Am Raising Mines)

Well I switched over to the new blogger so we will see how this works out for now so far so good but this is only my first post using the new version...So back to falling apart I have to tell you this year I finally decided I was going to start taking care of myself like I should be so I stopped drinking soda and I started taking my Blood Pressure medications like I was suppose to and I have to tell you since then I swear my body is rejecting me..Let's take a trip down memory lane here for the year so far...Well in Jan I had a case of the shin splints on my right leg well I dealt with that and then next thing I know I have what appears to be a blister appear in the front kind of on the side of my lower right leg in the shin area ok so the blister is about the size of a quarter and its full of liquid so I think ok no big deal its just a blister well obviously I was wrong well as it began to drain I cleaned it and covered it so it wouldn't get infected well in the process of me cleaning it when I would dab or wipe the skin would come off my leg on the blister area so as time went on my skin was coming off and I could see the meat under it(not a pretty picture for sure)...Well I have a Dr. Appt Friday but I was freaking out about my leg and honestly couldn't wait till Fri to have it seen so at about 4 AM this morning I get to the ER and have it looked at by this time its the size of a Cadbury Easter Egg(which while I was telling the Triage nurse about it feels a need to say OMG I love Cadbury Eggs they are so good now I am thinking umm yea I am glad you like them but can we get back to the issue at hand here) and its about a half a fingernail deep..So I get called back and the Dr comes in and looks at my leg and says I have a ulcer on my leg which some how equals a skin infection I am thinking sort of like a abscess so she tells me I need to be checked for Diabetes since my mom is Type 2 and I just found out this morning that my brother has Diabetes also. I gotta say I really hope I am not Diabetic honestly with the High Blood Pressure, PCOS and the Lymphodemia I have enough on my plate already its full enough so when I go to my Dr Friday I have to make sure I get tested. I also got a tetanus hot man that hurts like hell..But the ER Dr gave me some Antibiotics and some Tylenol 3 w/ codeine for the pain. I have to wet dry wrap it and change it once a day which means I have to take some gauze and wet it and stick it in the hole and make sure its flush with my skin and then wrap dry gauze around my leg and follow up with my Dr. on Friday. Man all I know is when she had the nurse come in and clean out my leg OMG I thought I was gonna die I was squeezing MK's hand so hard I thought I broke a finger or two but he is ok it was his left hand anyways lol he is right handed. But she sprays water in it which was no big deal but then she wipes the water out I swear it felt like she shoved to fingers in there like she was digging for gold man then she says to me as she is wiping this looks like it hurts does it hurt I got ready to say no I always clench my teeth when I talk to someone lol. So by the time we got out of there it was almost 8 o'clock I went and got my pills filled and came home and took them and went to sleep..So that was my fun filled day in a nutshell hope everyone is having a good weekend...Also thanx to everyone who has listed me on their blogs I feel so honored

February Already

Well its Feb already and as our fuzzy friend Phil said it will be a early Spring this year well Phil you better be right casue I am tired of cold weather...Well I been slacking on one of my resolutions as you can see I haven't been blogging regularly like I am suppose to be(someone feel free to kick me in my ass plz)...Well not much has been happening around here last month I ended up with Shin Splints and I have NO idea how considering I am not the least bit athletic unless you count my sprinting to the potty due to these water pills exercise lol...I have been taking my Blood Pressure pills like I am suppose to so when I go back and see my Dr I hope there is a significant change from being a walking stroke....Except for a few pains here and there I have been feeling pretty good lately my legs don't hurt when I get out of bed in the morning or when I get up from my chair....I haven't been spending much time in front of the computer like I used to I have been reading more I am still reading You On A Diet I had a little set back my book mark came out of the book and I had to find my place again lol...Well the 28th of this month marks 6 months of no soda I am proud of myself now if only I can do that with my eating habits I would be ok...I have been thinking about going back to college alot lately well actually I started thinking about it last yr...I figured I would take some classes online I would love to go back and get my degree I started college when I lived in Vegas and never finished I honestly wished when I graduated in 1997 from High School I had went directly to college but of course I didn't..This June makes is 10 years since I graduated High School god 10 yr already damn where did the time go ? So anyways I would love to get a degree in what I haven't quite figured that out yet.. Well that is all for now I am going to try and post regularly even if I don't have much to say... Also if anyone has any idea about how to change blog templates please let me know I think its time I got a new one thanx

Six Weird Things About Me

I was tagged by Ellie over at The Cedar Chest

THE RULES: Each player of this game starts with the 6 weird things about you. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says you are tagged in their comments and tell them to read your blog.


1. When I can't sleep I make up stories in my head to help myself fall asleep it works sometimes.

2. I have blown out a coffee maker and a light bulb just by touching them

3. I love being in the dark I always have to me if feels so much more comfortable and relaxing

4. I feel like I have lost a piece of myself at this point in my life

5. I occasionally see things as if I am seeing them through someone else's eyes

6. I own over 50 movies and have only watched about 7 of them


I could only come up with three people to tag lol
Fat Bitch~~Jen's Ramblings~~Sane & Insane,....If you decided to do this let me know and I will come read about how weird you are

Share Your Thoughts On This

I received this in a group I am in and decided I would share it after you read it let me know what you think....

What If?

What if fat was healthy because fat people had some cushioning and some reserve food stores to live on, and skinny people were said to be putting themselves at risk, and stigmatized for making this stupid health decision?
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What if people went up to skinny girls in the street and said "Oh, you’d be beautiful if you’d just gain weight!"
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Or "You’re thin, but you’re beautiful on the inside!" Or looked at me like I was in some way sick and disgusting?
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What if all clothes below size 10 came in girly pastels, with the reasoning that small women are underdeveloped and childish?
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What if they were called ‘minus sizes’?
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What if thin people had to go to special stores to buy clothes, because none of the regular stores wanted to stock clothes for them, saying that they’re disgusting and their patrons wouldn’t want to look at them?
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What if all models were a size 16 or above, but every once in a while you’d see a "minus size" model in a size 8 cut to make her look larger?
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What if "too fat" wasn’t the greatest thing, because it was acknowledged to not be terribly healthy, but the models who were "too fat" still got all the modeling jobs, and they were told that they might want to lose a little weight but nobody took it seriously? And meantime "too fat" was infinitely better than "too skinny"?
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What if thin people were depicted in the media as obsessed with exercise and starving themselves, and thus not sexually interested? And fat people were depicted as able to enjoy their food, and their lovers, with relish?
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What if a TV character as popular as Friends’ Monica was depicted as once having been thin, not even unhealthily so, and she was the butt of jokes for that?
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What if X percent of the American population was labeled "underweight" ?
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What if food commercials focused not on low-fat, but high in nutrients to gain weight?
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What if people said "I don’t understand what’s wrong with skinny people. All they have to do is eat! It’s not that difficult. They must be pretty stupid not to figure that out."?
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What if there were no labels saying "Low Fat" but instead they said "High Fat"?
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What if magazines ran stories on "How to Maximize the Glory of your Curves"?
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What if 7-year-old girls, copying their moms, asked their friends "Does this make me look too skinny?"
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What if magazines ran bogus ads for weight gain powder? And the ads said "Mary gained 25 pounds in 8 weeks combining a high-nutrient diet, exercise to gain muscle mass, and Product X"? And they showed a picture of Mary wearing baggy clothes to make her look skinny and waifish, while in the "After" picture she was trim and tan? And women looked at Mary, who didn’t need to gain weight to begin with, and say "If she’s skinny, I must be a stick" and started gorging themselves?
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What if thin people had to pay more for clothes and underwear and almost no pretty bras came in anything under a size 40?
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What if there was an operation to enlarge the size of one’s stomach or inject fat under the skin?
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What if middle-aged women were admired because they had put on some weight after age 30 and young women were simply ‘too thin’?
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What if kids made jokes like "Your mama’s so thin, she blew away
when I flapped my arms"?
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What if people talked to thin people slowly on the assumption that they were like children?
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What if thin people had to learn to be witty, because else they would be utterly ignored by the opposite sex?
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What if studies showed that thin could also be healthy, not just fat, but the mass media only paid lip service to them?
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This would be ridiculous.
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Then why is the reverse still OK?
—Author Unknown

Reason~Season~Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
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Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.
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LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant

The Agreements

Man its been awhile since I last posted I have been trying to keep busy here and there so far so good I suppose..I finished reading a book last week its called The Four Agreements By Don Miguel Ruiz...Its a very good book I have to admit... The four Agreements are

1. Be Immpecable With Your Word

2.Don't Take Anything Personally

3.Don't Make Assumptions

4.Always Do Your Best

If you ever get a chance to read this book I hope you do and if you do let me know what you think of it..I am still reading You On A Diet and A Dummies Guide To High Blood Pressure lol well I am going to go read for awhile I will blog more later

~~How I Feel Lately~~

Broken

By Lindsey Haun

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Wake up to a Sunny Day

Not a cloud up in the sky

And then it starts to rain

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My defenses hit the ground

And they shatter all around

So open and exposed

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But I found strenght in the struggle

Face to face with my troubles

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When you're broken

In a Million little pieces

And your tryin'

But you can't hold on any more

Every tear falls down for a reason

Don't you stop believin' in your self

When you're broken

~~~~

Little girl don't be so blue

I know what you're going through

Don't let it beat you up

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Hittin' walls ang gettin' scars

Only makes you who you are

Only makes you who you are

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No matter how much your heart is aching

There is beauty in the breaking

Yeah

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When you're broken

In a Million little pieces

And your tryin'

But you can't hold on any more

Every tear falls down for a reason

Don't you stop believin' in your self

When you're broken

~~~~

Better days are gonna find you once again

Every piece will find it's place

When you're broken

When you're broken

When you're broken

~~~~

In a Million little pieces

And your tryin'

But you can't hold on any more

Every tear falls down for a reason

Don't you stop believin' in your self

When you're broken

Oh When you're broken

When you're broken

When you're broken

Random Babbling

Well I read my horoscope today and it left me totally baffled it read "Someone enters your life who might be part of it forever. A new friend, lover or mentor -- the stars say that it could be any one of those three. Synchronicity happens when you let it, so keep an open mind."...Sounds like this year could be interesting..I was talking to a really good friend of mines we will call her Bridget we were talking about health as we usually do we have made a pact this is the year we take care of ourselves...I was tihnking about seeing if they have OA meeting online until I am able to make it to one..I don't think I over eat but I do eat the wrong stuff but I could be wrong..People always say well stop eating when your full well my problem is by the time I think i'm full my tummy hurts also I don't gorge myself on food all at one time I just eat the bad stuff through out the day and like I said in a previous post I usually eat the most when I am bored so I have been trying to find ways to keep busy so I am not so bored...Well I am off to read i'll blog more later...

Easy To Add On Hard To Subtract

As I was sitting here reading my email I began thinking something about weight and weigh-loss..Why is weight so easy to gain and so hard to get rid of it ? I swear I feel my ass & thighs spread everytime I see a commerical on tv or walk past the junk food alise at the grocery store lol...For some people its hard for them to gain weight and easy to lose it and then you have people who have a fast metabolism..I swear I have the metabolism of a freakin snail or a turtle..My family is a mixture of sizes on my Dad's side most of the women are as they in family call it "big-boned" lol...On my mom's side there are a few women who are "big-boned" maybe 2 at the most..my sister was always small that was until she got pregnant with my nephew then well for her there was no going back but she has lost weight from what i've heard I haven't seen her in a few years...I was a ok size kid until the inevitable happend I hit puberty lol and well you know the rest is history...But anyways back to the original topic I wish it was as easy to get rid of the weight as it was to pack it on..I had something else I wanted to talk about but for the life of me I can't remember what it was I swear that has been happening alot lately I have CRS (Can't Remember Shit) symdrome lol....I will remember eventually

A New Day

Well here we are the first post of 2007 and I hope to have plenty more...As I sit here and type this its 6:05 A.M I have been up for a couple of hours now.I feel like I have a lump of something stuck in my throat and its driving me crazy lol...New Years was pretty quiet here bf had to work and I didn't want to be out with all the crazies so me and Jack(Daniels) relaxed and enjoyed a good book....And for those wondering I had orange juice not soda....I hope everyone had a safe New Year Eve...I guess I should continue on with my story from a few nights ago when I left off I was talking about how MK(my boyfriend) mom always makes comments about his weight (which by the way he is at a fine weight for his height and eveything he is far from overweight) but in the same breath she sends candy and cookies home with him...Let me give you a little background on his mom she has always struggled with her weight after she had kids so after yrs of taking it off and eventually gaining it back a few yrs ago I think when she was 61 or 62 she had gastric bypass surgery they were worried about her because of her age but her Dr suggested that was her only hope ok so she has had the surgery and I think it has been 2-3 yrs since she has had it and I will say up front I love Mk's mother to death but it seems since she has had the sugery she feels she has the right to tell others how to eat all the while still stuffing her self full of junk food and sweets until she makes her self sick..Now I am not knocking the surgery or anyone who has had the surgery you all have more courage then me I will say that I am seriously scared of going under the knife for anything lol..MK's dad is a diabetic he is good about watching what he eats and everything but god forbid he has a treat she yells at him that he should't be eating that but if he says something about what she is eating she snaps at him "don't tell me how to eat or what to eat"...It pisses me off is she has this things of saying things to me when no one else is around but she will change the subject when someone comes in the room..she has done that to me a few times about my weight and things like that and I just tend to ignore her but I told MK there is going to come a day when she is going to say something and I am not going to hold my tongue and I am going to go off on her and she isn't going to like me anymore..Its like since the surgery she has to throw it in people's face that she has lost some weight and others are still struggling its like she thinks she is better then the people she used to be like (people struggling with their weight)...Well on to other things I have made some resolutions this year like I am sure most of us have I am going to try my hardest to stick to it

1.Eat more healthy
2.Put myself first more
3.Continue no soda drinking
4.Cut out sweets(candy,cookies,junk food)
5.Read more(read 8 books this year

I also need to get more sleep my sleep schedule sucks now its horrible MK works graves and I have the hardest time sleeeping at night when he isnt home so I end up tossing and turning all night and then I lay down with him when he goes to bed too so I have to find a way to get a good nights sleep and not sleep my days away if anyone has any ideas I would love to hear them..Well I am going to go read for awhile...

Happy New Years

To All You Bloggers Out There Have A Safe & Happy New Years


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Slacking 101

Oh yea I been slacking hardcore lol I am suppose to be posting regularly but as we can see that hasn't been happening and why is that becasue I tend to procrastinate I have tons of things I want to talk about but by the time I get to posting it I have forgotten most of it but while I am here lets recap shall we still doing good on no soda..X-mas was nice and quiet I stayed home X-mas eve while boyfriend drove 4 hrs to his parents to open gifts( I stayed home due to my legs it makes sitting and traveling very uncomfortable) but I have to say it was nice being home alone I got some reading done and it was nice and quiet ahhhh who doesnt like peace and quiet..So anyways he calls me while he they are opening gifts he opens his and the couple gifts and brings mine how so I can open them..ok so fast forward to X-mas day when he comes home he comes home with plates full of candy and cookies his mom shoved at home to take home now this comes from a women who ever time she sees him says you have packed on some weight...Now someone please tell me if you think he needs to lose some weight why in the hell would you send all this shit home with him in the first place ???...I love his mother dearly but somethings she does drives me crazy I will go on more about her tomorrow..I have made a few resolutions for 2007 that I plan on trying my damnest to stick to as if my life dependened on it cause honestly I know it does the only person who can do this and win this fight is me...So the fun begins lol...Well that is all for now I will blog more again tomorrow night....

Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays To All

Wishing you and yours a Very Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays

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