My Cookie Jar LOL

Here is the cookie jar I was talking about in a earlier post I call it my cookie jar full of tea bags I've had this thing for what will be a yr this X-mas and there has never been cookies in it lol

Success

I got this in my email and figured I would share it cause its true

The road to success is not straight.
There is a curve called Failure,
a loop called Confusion,
speed bumps called Friends,
red lights called Enemies,
caution lights called Family.
You will have flats called Jobs.
But, if you have a spare called Determination,
an engine called Perseverance,
& insurance called Faith,
you will make it to a place called Success

UGHHHHHH..Need I Say More

As I sit here it is a whoppin 26 degrees outside and the wind chill is 17 I must say I hate snow with a passion I lived back east in Massachusetts for 20 years( got tired of snow up past my knees) then I had four sun soaked years in Nevada(I miss Vegas) & now here I am in snowy cold Washington I have to say this is the only place I have lived that in the same month can it flood from all the rain and then turn around and snow so much they cancel school and people are leaving their cars on the side of the roads left and right MK(the boyfriend) took some pics lastnight and this morning I figured I would share them with you so you can enjoy some snow I will be back later with another post and yes this time I promise I will be...

Post Thanksgiving Post

Well I had a great Thanksgiving I didn't overeat and I didn't over load up on sweets I had a slice of pumkin pie with some cool-whip but I am proud of myself for not going wild lol...We have a slew of leftovers we had ham instead of turkey..I've had enough of Tom Turkey as a child lol I'm all about Henry Ham these days there was garlic and chive mashed potatoes, plain mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, stuffing,baked mac and cheese, collard greens, scalloped potatoes, green beans with mushroom sauce god lol I think that's it..Thank goodness one holiday down and only one more to go and its all over..I am not in a festive mood this year the older I get the less into Christmas I am I love baking and giving it away to people but the gift giving and everything is getting riduculous..in the boyfriends family alone there are 15 people not even close to that many in mines lol..Every year people ask me what I want and I never know I am on a big reading kick (got a new book tell you about it in the next post)so I usually say a giftcard to a bookstore or something like that you can never have to many books well it seems people never listen I end up with something that is way to big for our one bedroom apartment( and mind you the people giving these huge things are people who have seen our place) lol or something I will never have a use for lol so it sits in the closet..I have to say my most prized possession from last year is a gift I got from from boyfriend's oldest sister she got it for me its a Winnie The Pooh cookie jar(full of tea bags sorry no cookies) I am a Winne the Pooh fanatic you can't but love Pooh Bear... I am a New Years kind of person wether I am home or with friends it doesn't matter I have always like New Years its up there with my other favorite holiday August 4th(mark your calendars lol) yup that's my birthday no matter how old I get I love my birthday as long as I am around to enjoy them I will (and yes to me my birthday is a holiday lol and yours should be for you to)..But I have already made a pact with a friend of mines 2007 is gonna be a good year for me even if I have to mame or kill someone(hopefully neither of those will have to happen lol)..2007 is my year of a healthier and happier me this is the year of RAE lol...anyone wanna come along feel free there is enough room for everyone(in case your wondering no I am not drunk lol)...Well that is all for now I will be back to post more later if you get a chance check out my post on Emotional eating all comments are welcomed

To You & Yours

I hope you all have a wonderful, safe & happy holiday

Getting to Know You

I saw this on Angelfish's Blog and it looked fun so I figured I would borrow it and try it here lol...

DO YOU SNORE? Yes, well the boyfriend says I do
ARE YOU A LOVER OR A FIGHTER? Both
WHAT’S YOUR WORST FEAR? Not being able to lose this weight
AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO MANIAC? No, but my sister was
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF “REALITY” TV? Can't stand it
DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS? No
WERE YOU A CUTE BABY? Yea I was and so small lol, damn what happened
IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU? If I had to do it again I could but I like having a boyfriend
HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED? No but when I get to my health weight I want to.
ANY SECRET TALENTS? Solving other people's problems playing the trumpet and sax fairly ok and I know the states in alphabetical order
WHAT’S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT? Vegas or Hawaii
CAN YOU SWIM? Nope
HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIE DONNIE DARKO? No.
DO YOU GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THE OZONE? Yes,
HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE POP? 20 maybe or none if you have strong enough teeth to just bite through it
CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS? No,
DO YOU PREFER ELECTRIC OR MANUAL PENCIL SHARPENER? Electric.
WHAT’S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING? It's ok
IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE? Yes
DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Sometimes.
WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO? Wool, The Shell on some Nuts
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, “I LOVE YOU”? A few min ago when boyfriend left for work.
DO YOU CRY AT WEDDINGS? No
HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS? Scrambled
ARE BLONDES DUMB? I know some smart ones
WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP? The sock/underware gnomes eat them
WHAT TIME IS IT? 10:44 P.M.
DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME? A few
IS MCDONALD’S DISGUSTING? No I like their salads
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR? Been awhile
DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS? Showers
IS SANTA CLAUS REAL? Yes
DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR NECK KISSED? Yes.
ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK? No, I love it
WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO?
CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER? don't like peanut butter
CAN YOU CRACK YOUR NECK? No.
HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE? Yes.
IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE? Yes
ARE YOU A HEAVY SLEEPER? If I am sick.
WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES? Brown
DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE? Eh it could be worse
ARE YOU PSYCHIC? I have had premonitions before and quite frequently
HAVE YOU READ CATCHER IN THE RYE? No
DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS? Trumpet and Sax a lil
HAVE YOU EVER STOLEN MONEY? No.
CAN YOU SNOWBOARD? No
DO YOU LIKE CAMPING? Never been
DO YOU SNORT WHEN YOU LAUGH? No
DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC? Yes
ARE DOGS A MAN’S BEST FRIEND? They can be but so can't people
DO YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE? Yes no one deserves to be miserable if they can help it
CAN YOU DO THE MOONWALK? No.
DO YOU MAKE A LOT OF MISTAKES? I have made my fair share and I am trying not to repeat them
IS IT COLD OUTSIDE TODAY? Right now its 43*F outside
WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Hamburger
DO YOU WEAR NAIL POLISH? No
HOW MANY PEOPLE DO YOU LIKE RIGHT NOW? A fair amount
WHAT’S THE MOST ANNOYING TV COMMERCIAL? Way too many to name
FAVORITE SONG AT THE MOMENT? My Wish By Rascal Flatts

Emotional Eating

I hear people talk about they eat when they are emotional you know like mad, angry, depressed things like that I never do that I eat the most when I am bored..And being home all day long well geesh how much more bored can you possibly get...I don't eat alot of junk food or fried food I actually eat things that are good for me but the only downside is my lack of ability to exercise which I have got to find a way to get that done...I happen to be an impulse buyer when it comes to candy and other sweets I want to know does anyone else do this ? I will want some candy or other assorted sweet get it home and then not want it and it will sit there for weeks on end until I either trash it or the boyfriend eats it..It drives me crazy that I do that but I have no idea why I do it...I think if I figure it out I may actually be able to take astep forward...But on the upside in 6 days that being Nov 27th I will be soda free for 3 month I am hoping I can keep this up now if only I can get the rest of my eating under control wouldn't life be grand

Honestly Speaking

I gotta say right now I am so not loving life(don't worry I'm not thinking about doing anything dumb) Right now I am in a funk and see no end in sight at the moment and it's driving me crazy.. I am just so fed up with somethings now which I will explain later. My weight is one of them I am at my highest weight ever in my life and it fuckin sucks I haven't stepped on a scale in years I am guessing I am over the 400 mark a place I NEVER thought I would be..I am so angry that I have let myself get this big...I ma angry at my back for being fucked up and not being able to walk & I am pissed that my legs are now messed up with this lymphodemia and it makes walking harder. This is so not where I wanted to be when I was 27 not by any means..I have been stressing about other crap left and right and of course with stress comes eating so that isn't good...Plus being at home all day isn't helping either I been trying to find a at home job since it's hard to get out but to no avail I got nothing so far...But I am not giving up on getting myself healthy I know no one can do it for me only I can...I need to find leg exercises things I can do while I sit down and buy some weights so I can exercise my arms...I know for sure I have got to start eating better I am stil going strong on the no soda now if I could be that way on other things I shouldn't be eating...I haven't been taking my bp meds so I know the Dr is gonna have a cow when I go see her...Well I am done with this bitch fest for now back to your regual scheduled programming I am going to try and blog more frequently from now on.

Catch-Up

Man I am kicking myself in the ass now for taking so long to get back to this blog when I first started it I told myself I was going to keep up on it and not slack off well I guess I goofed up on that one now didn't I.....But I have to say the end of Oct beginning of Nov has been the few weeks from hell life decided to drop some bombs one on top of the other a few things have been taken care of just waiting for the other shoe to drop on the final situation I am so hoping for the best....Well I have been thinking of going back to school to get a college degree. I will have to do it online for now but something is better then nothing..I will have to come back again tonight and blog more I have alot of things on my mind that I need to get off but there are a few things I need to take care of...

Lymphedema

That is the medical term for what is wrong with my legs. Lymphedema is the chronic accumulation of lymphatic fluid in body tissues. I have a mass on my inner right thigh and a smaller one on my inner left thigh. It’s kind of hard to explain what this is so I will use a definition from Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia, they say Lymphedema, or "lymphatic obstruction", is a condition of localized fluid retention caused by a compromised lymphatic system. The lymphatic system (often referred to as the body's "second" circulatory system) collects and filters the interstitial fluid of the body. According to a specialist I went to see he says something happened to set this off, well I am guessing its my weight but he also says that he thinks it can be reversed with lymphatic massge well my regular Dr put in a request with my insurance to see if it would give me a referral and of course I have heard nothing from them as you know from a previous post my insurance is a lil slow lol (but I do like them because they cover pre-existing conditions but you have to wait 9 months that is how I got help with my leg) and this was a month ago or 2. But the specialist said I can also do the massage at home now he felt a need to forget to tell me how to do it lol. So I searched Boarders & Barnes & Noble for a book well I found it but neither one carried it and I would have to order it but I found it on Amazon.com & for cheaper too so I ordered it today cross your fingers that I am on my way to having my legs back so I can walk without feeling like I am walking like a damn duck. Also if I can walk I am sure it will aid in the process of losing weight. Well for the first time since I started my diet I had something besides water yesterday lol I had some hot cocoa(man it was COLD lastnight)..I have to admit I am getting a lil tired of water but I still love my Crystal Light I need to look for something else to drink I would try juices but I don’t want to have to much sugar either any idea feel free to pass them along. Well I guess that is all this evening off to make my football picks have a good weekend…

Sometimes You Feel LIke Something Healthy Sometimes You Don't

I have been slacking in the posting department lately sorry football season has began lol...OMG today I wanted some candy do BADLY you would not believe it lol...I was sitting here at home thinking god I want some candy lol...but I didn't run out and buy one I told myself I didn't need it and the craving would pass lol and it finally did...I didn't want to let myself down by meesing up 2 weeks of no candy..So does anyone have any idea what to do when you get cravings I would appreciate any help you have to offer...So as I stated before I have made it 2 weeks now I feel proud of myself that I am taking the steps to a healthier me only a few people close to me know that I am doing this I don't want to tell my family because I know they will always be asking me how is it going and badgering me about one thing or another and since they are all back on the East Coast they can't see me so it's ok lol...I am addicted to crystal light Iced Tea and Peach Tea lol only 5 calories and god its so good.....Also maybe someone can help me figure this out too I don't get that thirsty during the day but when night hits maybe lets say about 9 and up I can drink about 5 bottles of water does this happen to anyone else ???...All I know with drinking all this water and going tinkle what seems like ever 15-20 min I feel like I should be wearing some and a tank top and passing a baton to someone in a race LOL...I need to go buy some hand weights I think they are called or maybe they are just called weights lol I know they usually come in Pink, Purple and Blue but I need to buy some to use to get my arms in shape I need to find some sit down exercises since standing and walking for any period of time isn't any option at the moment but I don't want that to stop me from getting my ass together I will explain why I have a hard time walking in tomorrows post..I am off to read see you all later

Funnies 4 Friday 2

If Men Ruled The World

1- Two words... "Ally McNaked".

2- When a cop gave you a ticket, every smart-aleck

answer you responded with would actually reduce your fine.

As in:Cop: "You know how fast you were going?"

You: "All I know is, I was spilling my beer all over the place."

Cop : "Nice one, That's $10.00 off".

3- People would never talk about how fresh they felt.

4- Daisy Duke shorts would never go out of style again.

5- Every man would get four real "Get Out of Jail Free" cards per year.

6- Telephones would cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.

7- The victors in any athletic competition would get to kill and eat the losers.

8- It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car, as long as you returned it the following day with a full tank of gas.

9- Instead of a fancy, expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said "You're #1!".

10- When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.

11- Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed as an acceptable response to "I love you".

12- The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.

13- "Sorry I'm late, but I was wasted last night", would be an acceptable excuse for tardiness.

14- At the end of the workday, a whistle would blow and you would jump out of your window and slide down the tail of a brontosaurus and right into your car.

15- Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.

Bad Habits

Well I went grocery shopping the other night and I didn't buy any candy but I did by 2 boxes of brownie mix well MK can eat the brownies I just needed the proof of purchase things on the bottom of the box so I can send for my Pillsbury Dough Boy Doll he laughs when u squeeze him tummy(yea I know I have issues)...But I was thinking last night after reading someone's blog hell I can't remember who it was either they were talking about eating habits or why you over eat and I realized two things well two bad habits I need to break one is I eat when i'm bored and I eat late at night and then go to bed so those are two habits I really need to stop doing those things...I have never really been a junk food junkie I tend to buy stuff thinking I want it at the moment and its sounds good and end up not eating it I have no idea why I do that either does anyone else do that ? I am still having trouble with my sodium intake and its driving me bonkers I swear everything in this flippin world has sodium lol...Well that's all for now I think I will go read see you in the posts...

One Week !!!!

Well I suvived one week of no soda, no candy and no fast food and I know this isn't a big deal to anyone but it is to me...My next problem is trying to control my sodium intake I am way over on that...I have been trying to find things that are low in sodium or have no sodium at all...I had some chopped walnuts last night and found out they have no sodium at all I think I found a new snack for me lol.....I have to say I haven't had any cravings for soda or candy but man I had a huge craving for some McDonalds french fries but I never gave in I feel good about that...Well that's it for tonight...

Funnies 4 Friday

Q: Who is the most popular man in a nudist colony?

A: The one who can carry 2 large coffees and a dozendonuts.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q: Who is the most popular woman in a nudist colony?

A: The one who can eat the last two donuts.

Water & Doctors & Insurance

Ok since Sunday I have been drinking only water, water with crystal light(god I love that stuff can't go wrong its only 5 calories LOL) and I had a cup of Vanilla Chai Decaf Tea (OMG this is so yummy) but anyways so all week it's been water and man I swear like every 30 min i feel like I'm running to the bathroom thank god we live in a one bedroom lol.....It seems my Doctor's office has lost their minds I called Monday to make an appt for next week and one of the receptionists tells me that they have a new scheduling thing in effect you have to call for an appt the week you want to be seen...Ummm WTF now what are the chances of me actually getting an appt next week when I call and if I can't I am going to be pissed cause I need to bee seen next week the week after is too late.. Now here is something funny well not funny but I had to laugh to keep from pulling my hair out at the time...Monday I went to pick up one of my BP meds and my Depo shot and when she rings it up she is like $ 100.51 and i'm like excuse me hell my BP meds are like $ 22.00 and the shot is $ 10.00 she says well let me take a look come to find out my insurance wouldn't cover it casue there is a generic version on the market and then she says to me do you still want it ummm no I say...I am not paying $ 75.00 for a lil vial that is no more then a inch tall and looks like its full of a mixture of milk and water...So I called the Doctor's office and the Dr said she would fax over a prescription for the Generic version as long as it works and I don't grow a third eye or anything i'm happy...That's all for now.....

Please Don't Pass the Salt...

I learned something today that kind of shocked me for a person with high bllod pressure I consume wayyy to much salt and it has got to stop that is for sure....I made one step today and joined Sparks People you can find them on my front page...From what I have read so far on there its a cool place is very informative and its a great website...I was talking to a friend today and she she wanted to lose weight to make her boyfriend happy.. Now if there is one thing I know its that if your going to lose weight for it to work you have to do it for yourself first and foremost your the one working at it, your the one who is benefitting from it, your the one changing your habits becasue according to him he thinks she has gained a lil too much weight after having a baby 4 months ago...I'm sorry but whi cares about baby weight you just popped out a baby gimme a damn break but that is just my idea..She asked me why I was losing weight and I told her plain and simple I am doing it for me no one else but me not for my boyfriend, my mother or for the family member that most of us have who always says to you "You have such a cute face but" god you have no idea how many times I heard that when I was younger....Most of the women in my family on my mom & my dad's side are big women and I am sure most have health issues I tend to keep mines quiet from my family except my mom but she occasionally throws in well you know you need to lose some weght...I know she worries about me she has some health issues of her she was never overweight or big and she had a stroke, has high blood pressure, and now she has Diabeties and the Dr.s also think she has a heart murmur she had her stroke about 6 years ago and last year she was diagonosed with Congestive Heart Failure and I know she think hell if she was never over weight and all this happend to her she worries about me since I am and I have to love her for that...I love my boyfriend for making me feel pretty and special no matter what size I am all the health issues erupted after we got together and I gotta say with all the shit I have had to deal with health wise I am surprised he hasn't ran for the hills...Well that is enough for tonight see you in my posts.

Decision Time

Well I have come to a decision in my life it's time for this Phat chick to shed some pounds... Now before anyone says well I am contradicting the title of my blog no I'm not...What I am saying is I need to lose weight and Phat chicks still rule lol...I am not doing for vanity or for people who give a damn what I look like I am doing it for that fact I am tired of my back hurting, my legs hurting, and I am so damn tired of waking up in the morning having to pop 7 pills in the morning and 2 before bed every night 7 of them are for my blood pressure alone and I HATE pills....with a passion I rather deal with a headache then take aspirin lol...I know its going to be hard to lose weight but I have to commit to this and try hard at it...There is one thing I can control from the get go and that is what I put in my mouth no more soda I need to drink more water I don't drink nearly enough I love those Crystal Light on th go packs even when I am at home I just add them to a bottle of water and instant yummy drink lol...I have to cut out Fast Food plus we will be saving so much money when we cut out Fast Food and I need to give up Candy I am sure there are things I can substitute and have it still be tasty...I don't really eat fried foods the only friend food I ever really eat is fast food...I love veggies and fruit....I could live off salad lol lettuce, mushrooms, black olives and some Ranch Dressing and I am good to go I don't like tomatoes...... cucumbers are ok every once in awhile...I need to try Fat-Free Ranch and get some good low cal recipes..I have some weight-loss blogs posted on my page I figure reading them may give me a few ideas, talking to my Dr and maybe seeing a nutritionist may help...my only issue with that is I really don't want to have some lady who has never been more then maybe 125lbs. tell me how to lose weight I would like to talk to someone who has been where I am and has battled back but I will see about that as time goes on.. I also need to figure out an exercise routine with my back and legs walking isn't really an option so maybe I will have to start out with a sitting routine I will have to check that out to..I have a plan I just need the will power to stick to it..well that's all for now its almost 3 A.M lol I'll write more later...

More About Me....

The weight didn't start packing in until puberty hit then all hell broke loss its like a dam broke somewhere and boobs and ass was all around LOL...I was a pretty active kid so I was a lil chubby but nothing bad as I got older things changed..Even being on the go and walking and taking gym in school didn't seem to help lose weight..I was a hell of a lot smaller in High School then what I am now I will explain the sudden shift in my weight gain later in the story...But for me Junior High & High School weren't bad I would do them over again only cause I know I can get better grades then what I got but I graduated on time LOL..I never had any real problem with my weight i'm sure some people had some snide comments to say but no one ever had the balls to say them to my face so I didn't care....I didn't ever not participate in things becasue of my weight it either interested me or it didn't I graduated High School in 1997...Now lets fast forward a few years to about 2 1/2 to 3 years ago I was living in Las Vegas, Nevada loving it (GOD I MISS IT) here is where the sudden shift in weight comes in...I used to walk all over the place there especially the strip I could spend hours just walking it even though I lived there until one day something happened I woke up with this major pain in my lower back it would hurt like hell when I walked, stood, or even sat for a period of time well come to find out it was my siatic nerve and since there is no cure walking became a big problem I could walk to a few min and then I would have to stop cause me legs would go numb so with me having limited mobility the weight just packed itself on and now here I am at 27 and at my highest weight ever in my life and even more health issues to match...I have high blood pressure, PCOS(Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome) and my newest medical issue is lymphedema but that is enough about me for now

About This Blog

I love to write so I figured I wouls try my hand at writing about something I know very well and that is being a BBW...Now this whole blog won't only be about bbws I will also talk about other things here too and some of the blogs & links listed won't be related to bbw issues..I welcome all comments or questions my email is on my profile but what I will not tolerate is rude, nasty or derogatory comments yes everyone is intitled to their own opinion but you don't have to state it in a inconsiderate manor...